Amber Erickson, Author at Mindfully Written

Have the standards of beauty shifted again?

In Marilyn Monroe’s day, curvy was beautiful.

In the 70’s, there was a shift. Twiggy and other stick-thin models were beautiful.

Through the 80’s and 90’s, thin was still beautiful. Models and actresses because the ‘ideal’ while the rest of the population struggled with body image issues. Dieting, anorexia, bulemia and depression were the sign of these times.

In the early 2000’s, people started stepping up to address the issue. Grassroots organizations, with the assistance of the internet, began pushing out materials to speak to the issue. I’m not sure I know anyone who is totally happy with their body, especially the feminine folk. The theme of the 2000’s seemed to be healthy is beautiful.

While these are clearly gross generalizations about a nation, they are designed to show how the standards of beauty change with the decades. It’s kind of like what color is in. I don’t follow fashion, but I’m always hearing that something is the new black. Whatever it is may not last long, but for the time, that’s what’s popular.

Today, 2012, I believe we may have another shift on our hands. I’ve been experiencing it for myself in the last year or so, but hadn’t realized it or put words to it. But it appeared to me randomly in a news story during the London Olympics. In some sort of article that I didn’t read, the headline mentioned this:

Strong is the new beautiful (I think it actually said pretty, but I don’t like that word).

Imagine that…strong. Strength, muscular. I often hear women are afraid of looking bulky like men. I have never felt that way. I love the look of a muscular body – plus, women generally can’t even get bulky, it’s a common misconception about lifting weights. You need testosterone to get bulky, and in much higher doses than women’s bodies typically contain. Some women get big, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not the majority.

As a yogi, I see plenty of strong women (and men)- physically, mentally and emotionally. They are not stick-thin, they are not frail looking, they are not weak; they are strong, powerful, confident and focused. They gain strength through persistance and practice. They cover all age spectrums and abilities.

They are strong.

They are beautiful.

The standards of beauty may not be changing, but with this Olympics, I have seen more coverage speaking to the women athletes being motivators and inspirations to people all over the country (and world). It may not be a national shift, but it’s a personal shift for me. Strong is the new beautiful.

The toughest decision I had to make today….

by Amber Erickson

..was what to order at the coffee shop.

As I later thought about this, it was because I don’t come to coffee shops much anymore and I wanted to make a good decision. Iced, hot, flavored, not flavored, chai…..regular milk, soy, breve….caffeine, no caffeine, frozen…So many options. Then I thought, it’s just coffee. Just pick something already. I chose a hot chai tea latte made with half-and-half.

So am I happy about my decision? Sure. It’s nothing special – it’s a chai. But I’m sure I would’ve received any other options with similar neutrality. Who knows and why am I even spending the time to think about it?

I think it comes down to the amount of options we have at our fingertips and how, quite frankly, it’s often paralyzing. I remember speaking with a client once about his organization, which helps young adults transition to adulthood. He said many of these young people are simply overwhelmed with their options. Gone are the days of taking over the family business, women staying home to raise the kids, or people staying in jobs for their entire working career. There is simply an endless opportunity of what people can do, and that doesn’t necessarily mean a J-O-B. I choose to go outside of this mold and create my own livelihood – many others before me have done the same.

So how do we deal with all these options (from coffee to jobs and everything in between) that are infiltrating us daily? We learn to give up control from time to time and let others choose for us.

Now you must think I’m crazy. If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m crazy too. I was offered this idea by my husband. For as long as I can remember, we sometimes order each others’ meals when we go out to eat. Wait staff are always confused and people we are with usually think it’s nuts. The idea is two-fold: it gets us out of our comfort zones and forces us to try something we may not have chosen for ourselves and it allows us to give up control for just a moment, and that lessens the stress of making the “right” decision. A couple weeks ago, my husband sent me this TED talk video, which elegantly describes this very idea. The speaker discusses the paradox that counter to what we often think, people are happier with less choices.

I think this may describe why I am awful at parking in big parking lots – I get overwhelmed with the choices and figuring out which one is better. It’s just a parking spot. It’s just coffee. It’s just food. I wonder how much time and energy and unnecessary burden we put on ourselves through these small decisions?

Today, I vow to not get stressed out over my coffee choice. Or my parking spot. I vow to practice giving up the driver’s seat from time to time (even though it makes me a little anxious).

What choices do you struggle with? I’m interested in hearing.

What’s in a Word? How to Speak More Clearly

by Amber Erickson

Words change meanings over time, some words never really mean much to some, but a whole lot to others. So what is in a word? Well, there are consonents, vowels, syntax, context, pronunciation, definition and slang definition. But depending on where you are, these concepts aren’t static. We all know about dialect and accents, and love to argue about who is right. As a Minnesotan, I am all too familiar with this conversation. In some other countries, words are spelled based on how they sound. Some people pay attention to literal meanings, others are up-to-date on slang uses and some people just don’t know many words. It’s all just part of the variety and uniqueness of each of us regarding language.

But this can be problematic. When I say I’m fine, that tells the listener nothing. It just leaves them guessing what I actually mean, and how I use the word “fine” and whether there is something deeper that I am expecting them to understanding. Talk about confusing and unnecessary! I am equally guilty of this. It’s so difficult to say what you actually mean and in language that is clear, simple and comprehensive. Words like good, bad, nice, fine, ok, etc. should just be removed from the English language. While I’m not sure of the feasibility of that or the potential impacts, it’s interesting to think about. How would our relationships change? How would our self-expression change? Would that reverberate and affect our self-esteem or ability to say what we mean to say? Would it help get rid of the deceitfulness or vagueness of language? I don’t know the answers, but I can say it would affect my life if I could improve my language usage.

The challenge this week for myself and any of you is to pay attention to speech and how you use language. Be aware that language is just a set of sounds that help describe a situation or event in a way that everyone in the certain group understands. It is not truth. Language is not definite.

So how can you speak more clearly? How can you (I) say what I’m actually intending to say? How can we take some of the suffering and confusion out of relationships?

And, go…

Stick a needle in me: Acupuncture for healing

by Amber Erickson

It took me a mere five minutes on Google Scholar to find research supporting acupuncture as an effective modality to treat:

Chronic low-back pain
Migraines
Tension headache
Depression
Irritable bowel syndrome
Post-operative nausea and vomiting

I believe it. As a migraine sufferer, I whole-heartedly believe it, and my experiences show me that others believe it as well.

Yesterday I had a migraine, and it had been two days. I used to fight through it, miserable the whole time, until finally it subsided on its own. A steady yoga practice, I believe, has reduced the frequency and severity quite dramatically, but every once and awhile, one will strike. I let it go one day and if it’s not gone the second, I see my acupuncturist. I go to a community acupuncture clinic with a sliding scale. A visit costs between $15 and $35 per visit – I get to decide how much I’m able to pay. But really, if I can leave an hour later without a headache (and rested from a mid-day nap), it’s worth so much more.

Yesterday I showed up at my appointment, in pain and just kind of exhausted. My acupuncturist checked over my records from past visits and there is definitely a theme – same symptoms, same location, same accompanying symptoms (low energy, poor sleep, etc). He checked my pulse and started to put needles in where they needed to go. I won’t lie and say you can’t feel them – sometimes they hurt, at least at first, but it makes perfect sense to me why.

Our bodies are made up of energy, the space around our bodies is energy (aura), and the entire universe is energy. Got that?! It’s hard to describe with words, and even when done successfully, is so far outside of the Western paradigm that it falls on unaccepting ears. All I can speak to is my experience. I used to not get it. Then I got it. Now I really get it. I used to get shivers, or feel tingly sensations, but I didn’t realize those physical sensations were really just the feeling of energy movment within my body. It began to make sense in my yoga practice first, when I’d feel almost cold and shivery, but only on one leg or my head, but no other parts of my body. That’s when I thought, well clearly I’m not cold, what is this? Once I tapped into that sensation, I began to just pay attention to it, and in that, my sensitivity has skyrocketed.

Fast-track back to acupuncture. The tiny needles are inserted into known channels of energy in our bodies. When the needle hits the spot, it triggers movement and when I feel a jolt when the needle goes in, I attribute that sensation to the needles awakening some stagnant energy (which could be causing the blockages and pain in the first place). The pain of the needles doesn’t last, and then the fun begins.

As I lay in my recliner, covered neck to toes in blankets, resting in the darkness, listening to the musical selection of the day, I can feel my energy working. Some days it’s subtle, like a gentle ebb and flow, like the movement of water. Others it’s wild and erratic. I like the wild and erratic because I feel like something is happening. As I lay there, I wonder if everyone else is having an experience similar to mine. I suspect no, since most people aren’t tapped into their energies. But maybe they get it- I have no idea. After one particular wild energetic ride, I told my acupuncturist that it was crazy and he smiled and said, “The weirder the better.” I think I’m in good company with him.

After an hour of feeling my energy move, and perhaps napping, I wake to the needles being removed. I then put my shoes on and go about my day. Yesterday I left with no headache, no leftover neck pain, nothing. The fatigue, nausea and sleeplessness was gone too. I felt amazing. I’ve decided that me random headaches are just a sign that I need an energetic tune-up. Many people go to acupuncture for specific ailments, which it’s great for, but I also think it’s a wonderful way to just get everything working properly again – kind of like an oil change for your car.

Now, acupuncture isn’t for everyone, but it’s worth a try. It’s inexpensive, effective and has very minimal side effects and risks (none for me). I’m always a little surprised when I go and half of the people there are elderly. I often wonder who referred them, and if they understand what’s happening, or if they care, and if they are getting better. What I do know is that acupuncture has been around for a very long time, but the research on it is undecided. I asked another acupuncturist about that once and she said, which is true of many holistic practitioners, who cares what’s doing it as long as it’s working. She then said that researchers like to consider it nothing more than the placebo effect, but the fact that acupuncture is highly effective on animals, who don’t understand placebo, means something.

You decide for yourself! What do you think about acupuncture?

Learning to Love the Rain

by Amber Erickson

It’s raining today. Thunder is rumbling in the distance and right now, the rain has temporarily subsided. I can hear the water flowing from the rain gutters out into the grass. I can feel the cool breeze flowing through an opened window. The sound of cars on the road is more moist sounding than usual. Everything about today looks, feels, sounds and smells damp. It’s lovely.

Every time it rains, there are those who whine or complain. It may put a damper on outdoor activities or planned trips to the beach on a summer day. But when I stop to consider the amazing wonder behind a rainfall, I lose any sort of scorn over it. A rainstorm is one of the most obvious ways to see the cycles of nature in action (clearly the circadian rhythms of night and day are more obvious). Water evaporates from bodies of water into the air, where they then become water again and fall from the sky. While simplified, this circular pattern is Mother Nature at her finest, showing the reciprocal nature of the amazing environment around us.

On a more simple level, I think of rain as cleansing. Just as I bathe, the Earth must bathe. Rain is how Mother Earth cleans herself. I always enjoy watching as the plants take on a new luster, a new sense of vitality. I think of rainy days as a time that Mother Earth is taking for herself – it’s like taking a personal day to do what you want to do, to rest, to revitalize, to reflect, to be still and calm.

Now, I understand the argument that rainy days often lead people too feel down or sluggish. I get that; I’m no different. Rather than working right now, I’m tempted to make some tea, grab a blanket and a book and curl up on the couch. I might do that later. But I think this temptation is worth thinking about. When it rains, the animals go into hiding. Birds aren’t singing, squirrels aren’t running about, and even the people appear to be waiting out the storm. I believe this is part of our nature. Rather than running about and thinking of a storm as an inconvenience to our day, maybe think about the message the rain is sending us. Do you need to take it easy today? Are you in need of more self-care? Is the go-go-go mentality slowly wearing you out, making you lose your luster or vitality? Maybe it’s a just a good, cleansing rain you need – mentally, physically, emotionall or spiritually.

How do you react when it rains?