Mindfully Written

Amber Erickson: Denver Content Marketing Strategist & Freelance Health and Lifestyle Writer

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This or That? How about both.

by Amber Erickson

During this year’s election battle (thank goodness for not having a TV!), I began to think about the dualistic culture we live in. We think we must choose between good and evil, black or white, republican or democrat, gay or straight, yes or no – the list goes on. We all know the phrase that it’s not always black or white. In my world, there is no black or white – there are different shades, and different ways of looking at it.

We all have choices, don’t forget that, but we also usually have more choices available to us than we think we have.  For example, don’t like Romney but don’t really like Obama either? Vote green party or liberatarian. Research other options. You also have a choice to not vote (I know, I just said that). I get the impression that culturally, we think there are two candidates and we have to choose. Who is the better of the two evils? But this is dualistic thinking – feeling like there are only two sides to a coin.

Let’s make this more about daily life. Soon we’ll head downstairs for lunch. This is what will probably happen. I’ll open the fridge and say we have leftover cheese soup or wild rice casserole. The fridge is pretty bare. But that’s seeing only two options. That is no where near the whole story! I’m missing out on potentially awesome ideas just by thinking in a linear dualistic way. I’ll realize this and say, or you could have minestrone soup, or hot coco, or raw veggies or rice and veggies, or pancakes or oatmeal or apples and peanut butter. All of a sudden, the world seems more joyful, more pleasant, more available to me.

Now, I also have to add that psychologically, too many choices are bad for us. We get paralyzed and can’t choose. So be careful of the options, but don’t limit yourselves.

Sometimes we practice this idea by just naming crazy things. So I’ll say, what would you like to do tonight. Then we’ll rattle off a list: play a game, clean the house, watch a movie, go to a movie, go to a bar, make coffee, have a drawing contest…..when we run out of “mainstream” ideas, we’ll get more silly. Erik will often say something like we could go rob a bank, or take a walk naked, or chop down a tree or go rock climbing, or take a vacation. All just ridiculous, but yet realistically, we could do these things. It helps tap the creativity and promote thinking outside of the box. I also find that it makes us laugh and promotes a sense of unity and playfulness.

Filed Under: Blog, Creativity, Mindfulness Tagged With: options, out of the box, thinking

The toughest decision I had to make today….

by Amber Erickson

..was what to order at the coffee shop.

As I later thought about this, it was because I don’t come to coffee shops much anymore and I wanted to make a good decision. Iced, hot, flavored, not flavored, chai…..regular milk, soy, breve….caffeine, no caffeine, frozen…So many options.  Then I thought, it’s just coffee. Just pick something already. I chose a hot chai tea latte made with half-and-half.

So am I happy about my decision?  Sure. It’s nothing special – it’s a chai. But I’m sure I would’ve received any other options with similar neutrality. Who knows and why am I even spending the time to think about it?

I think it comes down to the amount of options we have at our fingertips and how, quite frankly, it’s often paralyzing. I remember speaking with a client once about his organization, which helps young adults transition to adulthood.  He said many of these young people are simply overwhelmed with their options. Gone are the days of taking over the family business, women staying home to raise the kids, or people staying in jobs for their entire working career. There is simply an endless opportunity of what people can do, and that doesn’t necessarily mean a J-O-B. I choose to go outside of this mold and create my own livelihood – many others before me have done the same.

So how do we deal with all these options (from coffee to jobs and everything in between) that are infiltrating us daily? We learn to give up control from time to time and let others choose for us.

Now you must think I’m crazy. If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m crazy too. I was offered this idea by my husband. For as long as I can remember, we sometimes order each others’ meals when we go out to eat. Wait staff are always confused and people we are with usually think it’s nuts. The idea is two-fold: it gets us out of our comfort zones and forces us to try something we may not have chosen for ourselves and it allows us to give up control for just a moment, and that lessens the stress of making the “right” decision. A couple weeks ago, my husband sent me this TED talk video, which elegantly describes this very idea. The speaker discusses the paradox that counter to what we often think, people are happier with less choices.

I think this may describe why I am awful at parking in big parking lots – I get overwhelmed with the choices and figuring out which one is better. It’s just a parking spot. It’s just coffee. It’s just food. I wonder how much time and energy and unnecessary burden we put on ourselves through these small decisions?

Today, I vow to not get stressed out over my coffee choice. Or my parking spot. I vow to practice giving up the driver’s seat from time to time (even though it makes me a little anxious).

What choices do you struggle with? I’m interested in hearing.

Filed Under: Blog, Mindfulness Tagged With: coffee, decisions, options

Contact me

amber@mindfullywritten.com
952-250-1739

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