mindfulness Archives - Mindfully Written

What is Your Motivation?

Motivation is a complex topic. I write about it regularly, but specific to the nonprofit sector and motivating volunteers. Yesterday I interviewed a very smart gentlemen about motivating volunteers at nonprofits and while this general topic usually elicits some clear thoughts from people I interview, he was more difficult, but what he spoke of has a larger reach than just nonprofits.

I asked him how to motivate volunteers. We normally think of rewards and recognition, training, etc. and often it comes down to understanding why the volunteer is there in the first place, what they hope to get out of the experience and then find ways to keep them engaged by satisfying that need or want. But perhaps that’s too simplistic. Perhaps motivation is an ongoing process.

What Motivates You

We’re all motivated by some things (and not others) and different situations and wants. Some are motivated by money, others by prestige, others by recognition, others by helping people and so on. The first step in understanding yourself, your work and your aspirations is to assess your motivations. The problem is we’ll try to convince ourselves to adopt certain motivations, even if they aren’t our own. For example, it sounds better to say you’re motivated by helping people and sure you might really enjoy that, but is that your true motivation, or is it money.

What makes you get up every morning to do the things you need to do?

Motivation isn’t a one-time thing. It isn’t something we think about once a year and forget most of the time. Motivation is occurring nonstop. Let’s go back to volunteers. Motivation of some sort got them to show up for orientation, go through the training, submit an application and actually show up to perform their volunteer duties. It’s common to think of the initial motivation to act and ignore the rest, until at the end of the year when we praise them for their work, hoping they will continue their duties or take on more. But this is missing the whole point. Motivation occurs every day, every moment.

Moment-to-Moment Motivation

This idea of motivation being nonstop comes into play in our relationships, work, volunteer experiences, child-raising, education, etc. We are constantly choosing whether to continue on or change courses.

Let’s take relationships as an example. Some initial thing drew you together and there was motivation on both sides to move forward. You have a date, that’s like a decision point. Do you call or just let it slip away? It all comes down to motivation. Then time goes on, you decide to get married or whatever your commitment practice is, and that takes some motivation to do so. If you’re not interested in moving forward, you won’t (in theory). But if the interest or motivation is there, you keep moving along. And it’s not that once you’re committed, you stop needing motivation. This is a recipe for failure. That interest needs to be there all the time and the motivation to do the work to keep it going is vital. It’s not like you just then float along, you are constantly choosing if you’re still motivated with this. Each fight or setback in the relationship is like a new point where the motivation exists or it doesn’t.

In all things in life, from the mundane to the complex, every moment we are deciding whether we’re motivated enough to keep going or whether it’s time to focus our energy somewhere else, toward something we’re more motivated about. This is why friendships wither away, hobbies get set aside and house chores go undone. We’re just not motivated enough to do it. The interesting part is when you assess motivations and realize you’re activities are not in line with your motivations. You then have some choices to make and conflicts to work through.

Utilizing Motivation to Enhance Your Life

Now that we understand motivation and how big of a role it plays in life, we can harness this power to make changes, keep things fresh or find new focuses. Most people have at least one relationship they care about and are motivated to sustain. Let’s actively work to sustain them.

We might have jobs we enjoy and want to keep. Use that interest to keep yourself motivated. Notice the first signs of burnout and assess the situation to make sure it goes the direction you want. If it’s time to move on, that’s fine, but if it’s not, remember your motivation.

And finally, we all have tasks we either have to do (like cleaning the house), want to do (like hobbies or volunteering) or do because we know it’s good for us (like exercise, cooking healthy meals or meditation). These may not be things we’re super motivated about but there is a morsel of motivation or it wouldn’t be a part of our lives in the first place. I like a clean house, so there’s my motivation. I like riding my bike even when I’m lazy and don’t want to, so it helps to have others to ride with. The point is to tap into those motivations in whatever way you need. Sometimes it’s easier than others.

Lastly, this is really all about mindfulness and asking yourself, why am I doing this? Is this something I want to be doing or not? What do I need out of this to continue being motivated? Taking the time to assess your motivations and how they play a role in your life could be a powerful tool for transformation and self-knowledge.

We can give it a try together. Share in the comments, did assessing your motivations bring any insight into your life?

3 Things a Puppy Can Teach About Mindfulness

by Amber Erickson

When I got a puppy just over two months ago, I had no idea what I was in store for. The amount of work, and love, has been more than I expected. And he’s also taught me a lesson or two, or three, about mindfulness.

Everything in Life is Worth Sniffing

Figuratively of course. Dude will sniff or bite or lick anything at least once. Old horse poop, lets check it out. A little tree, better taste it. He is wide-eyed and observant to his surroundings. We can all do a better job of stopping to check things out, noticing our surroundings and taking in the beauty that is life. Next time you notice something interesting, go ahead and sniff it.

Eye Contact is Awesome

To keep him safe in our mountain environment, it’s important that he learns to check in and make eye contact with us. We need it from him, we expect it from him, but it seems like less of a priority in personal conversations. Maybe he can help us get better with that.

On a similar note, it’s important to give our full attention. If he wants to snuggle and I’m working but attempt to give him something, it’s not enough. He wants full attention…don’t we all.

Emotions are Hard to Manage

Everything isn’t rosy with the little Dude-face. He makes us angry. He is naughty sometimes. He pees on the floor randomly (luckily less now) and jumps on the couch ump-teen times a day (and is met with “off” every single time). Sometimes we get frustrated. We get upset. We get angry. When he was younger and would bite, I would nearly cry at times from pain and frustration. What was clear to see early on is that it’s a skill to learn to manage emotions even when others make it difficult. But it can be done.

Maybe I’ll do a follow-up as he gets older, but the point may be that if we take the time to look around, give our full and undivided attention to those around us, there are a lot of lessons right in front of our eyes.

Topic for discussion:
What has your pet taught you about mindfulness or living in the present moment?

Falling in love at a coffee shop.

by Amber Erickson

There is just something about coffee shops. I can’t explain it. I don’t even have a desire to explain it. I just love the feel of them. The smell. The people. The music. The environment. The culture. Coffee shops are unique – and not all have that same feeling. As I sit here gazing out the window, buses, cars and people are strolling by as if they are in some outside world. Inside the coffee shop, it’s like the world stands still. Only this coffee shop exists – just me and my computer and my tea. Tonight I’m drinking tea. I’m writing. Time, place and circumstance aren’t relevant. They have no place here. When I’m here, nothing is relevant. Nothing matters, nothing stays the same, everything must change. The doors will close and I will go home, richer because of it.

Sounds a bit like meditation, doesn’t it.

Isn’t that interesting.

(Photo Credit: Snowfrog Photography)

Stop Suffering Today

by Amber Erickson

I came across an article in Shambala Sun today titled, “Suffering is Optional.” I, like most, glance at the heading and smirk to myself. At first glance, it’s ridiculous. On second glance, it’s true. At third glance, that one phrase is a reminder that has the potential to shift much of our Earthly experience, if only we allow it.

In times of pain – physically, mental or emotional – our first instinct is to dwell on that pain. But we dwell in a way that suggests that pain is a bad thing, or must go away as quickly as possible. We often become frustrated or attempt to ignore the problem. Mindfulness has another proposition. It is possible to sit with the pain, to truly feel the pain and to look to understand the pain a bit more. In my paradigm, it’s about breathing and allowing oneself to feel. In other paradigms, it’s about being aware and seeing the pain that is reality rather than looking outside of reality to escape the pain. It’s all the same.

How to stop suffering

Now, I understand this may make sense to some and may seem crazy to others so I will give a practical example. Today, while packing boxes in preparing of moving, I slammed my ankle bone into a door frame. My old reaction would have been to hop or limp erratically and unconsciously hold my breath waiting for the pain to subside. It’s possible I would have complained as well, just so others would hear and give me a little sympathy. With a mindfulness practice; however, the approach happened a bit differently. I hit the ankle and upon realizing the pain, I stopped right where I was, breathed slowly and focused all my attention on my ankle. Where attention goes, energy or prana will follow. So I sent breath to the site of the pain. I felt the pain, I questioned the pain, I figured out exactly where in my body the pain was coming from. I wondered if there was pain anywhere else. I examined the skin to look for any sign of the impact. And while I was breathing and considering – which maybe occurred over the course of 10 seconds – I realized the pain really wasn’t that bad and was gone pretty instantly. It’s not to say that paying attention will make the pain go away. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’ve learned this lesson time and time again in my yoga practice. The more focused I am on the sensations, the stronger they can be. Not always, but sometimes, with the increased awareness comes increased sensations. However, learning to allow oneself to truly feel is a powerful lesson that can reverberate throughout life. Learning to feel the full range of emotions, the full range of pain and the full range of pleasure can have profound effects.

Just like everyone else, I’m still working on this. I have found that it’s easier for me to be aware of and truly feel physical pain. Emotions and pleasure are a bit more challenging. Maybe others have a different experience.

Pain will never go away, but we can choose to not let it make us suffer.

Today, I challenge you to attempt to feel in times of pain and suffering. If you feel inspired, comment and let me and others know how it went. This is no easy task, but even thinking about it from time to time can help.

May you choose the path of less suffering today.

Namaste.

How Art is an Expression of Mindfulness

by Amber Erickson

The other night, my husband and I met at a coffee shop. He rode his bike there after work to meet me. I was there doing work I didn’t get done during the day. He asked if I’d bring his sketchpad.

That sketchpad has been around and seen its fair share of coffee shops and park benches.

While I was thinking about a blog topic, he opened the sketch pad. I, without so much of a warning, blurted out, “Why do you like drawing?” He laughed – that was a big question. Slowly, the answer emerged and I took notes, because it has a great tie-in to the themes of this blog.

For many of us, education and cultural value gives priority to science and math. The sciences are seemingly more important, and if you are good at them, you often get pigeon-holed into that category. The artsy students hang out in the art studios, the rest of us are science, math and language whizzes. They were separate. There is no art in the sciences. There is no science in art. But they don’t have to be separate – imagine what innovation and creativity comes when they work together.

The reason my wonderfully talented, intelligent and compassionate husband likes art is more subtle and deep than just the joy of creating something beautiful. It’s more of a spiritual practice, although he wouldn’t necessarily call it that. He uses art, primarily drawing – and almost always black or gray – as a way to develop the skill of “seeing” things and getting past the conceptual brain. Rather than looking at a tree and saying, “Oh that’s an ash,” you can learn to see the shape and the lighting and the colors and the form and the patterns and how it fits into the larger context of life. For him, it’s being able to get closer to objective truth of seeing what is really there rather than just the label of what we think is there. An ash isn’t just an ash. An ash is a lively form that sways erratically, yet rhythmically in the wind, with various shades of green and patterns of light and dark. It has movement, it has a whole world going on under its bark and in its roots – all hidden from us and not usually considered. There are probably birds and insects and other varmints running around and we don’t often stop to think about or see them.

When drawing, you can’t really just draw the concept of a tree. Well, you can, but then it just looks like an elementary Christmas tree of trunk with a round top (this, for reference, is how I draw). But this doesn’t capture the essence of that tree. It’s a generic representation of something. Truly SEEING the tree opens up all sorts of new ideas and allows you to practice seeing other things in life. Nothing is what we think it is from a first glance. There is always so much more depth and context and interconnectedness to explore and discover. Learning to see something enough to draw it (he usually draws trees) helps you learn to apply this principle throughout life. Much like meditation allows us to practice discernment of thoughts and not getting caught up in them, drawing helps practice awareness and seeing.

The beauty of drawing is that it isn’t about the outcome. Few people see the drawings, and most of them sit silently in sketchbooks. It’s not about them. They are just tools. They help the drawer to get past the labels and to explore a different way of looking at the world. They provide the training to help uncover the subtle beauty of life. They help him express himself better. I think they, and he, are beautiful and capture the essence of each other.