Mindfully Written

Amber Erickson Gabbey: Boulder Content Marketing Strategist & Freelance Health and Lifestyle Writer

Creative Arts as Therapy: The Making of a Gift

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A dear friend of mine recently married. I made them a card and it ended up to be an incredibly healing activity.

Some time ago, I decided that buying cards was silly since I could make them. I should add, I haven’t yet tapped into my creative potential and struggle with arts and crafts projects. But I decided making cards was a good way for me to be creative, while still having a purpose to keep me focused. My first cards were awful. Sometimes I’d laugh as I sent them because they were ridiculously childish, but handmade and made with love.

The fun part about making cards for people is the opportunity to truly make them unique and special for the recipient. For this particular wedding, I knew the couple, I knew some of the themes of the wedding and I felt inspired. As I made the card, I worked in silence and was able to reflect on their relationship and the stories I’d heard when they first met, started dating, got engaged and most recently, wedding planning and moving in together. I was able to think about my emotions and question any insights that arose. I worked and I thought and I worked some more. In the end, it was by far the best card I’ve ever made. It was pretty and legitimate looking. The whole card fit together and made sense. I was able to find fun materials that were representative of my friend, and used colors that were part of the wedding. It meant something to me. I’m not sure if it meant anything to them, if they even know it was handmade or if they thought it was well-made. None of that matters. I was proud to write in that card. I loved taking the time to reflect and write words that were meaningful to me. And most of all, I enjoyed taking the time to make something for a friend. I think the world needs a little more of that.

Stop Suffering Today

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I came across an article in Shambala Sun today titled, “Suffering is Optional.” I, like most, glance at the heading and smirk to myself. At first glance, it’s ridiculous. On second glance, it’s true. At third glance, that one phrase is a reminder that has the potential to shift much of our Earthly experience, if only we allow it.

In times of pain – physically, mental or emotional – our first instinct is to dwell on that pain. But we dwell in a way that suggests that pain is a bad thing, or must go away as quickly as possible. We often become frustrated or attempt to ignore the problem. Mindfulness has another proposition. It is possible to sit with the pain, to truly feel the pain and to look to understand the pain a bit more. In my paradigm, it’s about breathing and allowing oneself to feel. In other paradigms, it’s about being aware and seeing the pain that is reality rather than looking outside of reality to escape the pain. It’s all the same.

How to stop suffering

Now, I understand this may make sense to some and may seem crazy to others so I will give a practical example. Today, while packing boxes in preparing of moving, I slammed my ankle bone into a door frame. My old reaction would have been to hop or limp erratically and unconsciously hold my breath waiting for the pain to subside. It’s possible I would have complained as well, just so others would hear and give me a little sympathy. With a mindfulness practice; however, the approach happened a bit differently. I hit the ankle and upon realizing the pain, I stopped right where I was, breathed slowly and focused all my attention on my ankle. Where attention goes, energy or prana will follow. So I sent breath to the site of the pain. I felt the pain, I questioned the pain, I figured out exactly where in my body the pain was coming from. I wondered if there was pain anywhere else. I examined the skin to look for any sign of the impact. And while I was breathing and considering – which maybe occurred over the course of 10 seconds – I realized the pain really wasn’t that bad and was gone pretty instantly. It’s not to say that paying attention will make the pain go away. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’ve learned this lesson time and time again in my yoga practice. The more focused I am on the sensations, the stronger they can be. Not always, but sometimes, with the increased awareness comes increased sensations. However, learning to allow oneself to truly feel is a powerful lesson that can reverberate throughout life. Learning to feel the full range of emotions, the full range of pain and the full range of pleasure can have profound effects.

Just like everyone else, I’m still working on this. I have found that it’s easier for me to be aware of and truly feel physical pain. Emotions and pleasure are a bit more challenging. Maybe others have a different experience.

Pain will never go away, but we can choose to not let it make us suffer.

Today, I challenge you to attempt to feel in times of pain and suffering. If you feel inspired, comment and let me and others know how it went. This is no easy task, but even thinking about it from time to time can help.

May you choose the path of less suffering today.

Namaste.

5 Unexpected Factors to Consider when Working from Home

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When I decided to begin freelancing full-time earlier this year, I thought it’d be much like being in an office environment without having to drive anywhere. Now that I’m six months in, I’m beginning to see that I failed to consider several factors. Not that these will deter me from working from home, or having a home-based business, but I thought I’d take a minute to share these observations with you.

1) Toilet Paper:

It used to take us weeks, if not months, to go through a 4-pack of recycled toilet paper. Now I feel like we need a new 4-pack every other week. When you go to an office, you spend much of the day there and use their restrooms more than the ones at home, especially if you work long days. Now that I use my own restroom and toilet paper, it’s flying off of the roll. Next year I may have to budget toilet paper as a business expense!

2) Mealtimes:

There is nothing better than being able to prepare fresh meals for lunch or being able to decide what I’m hungry for at that time rather than in the morning. When I worked in an office, nearly every day I grimaced and wasn’t interested in the lunch I had. Now I can cook something, or eat leftovers, or have a hodge-podge lunch – I get to decide what I’m hungry for and that has also helped me snack less. I often get up and go to the fridge but end up empty-handed. I eat less now, even though I’m at home with food at my disposal. I also have less mid-afternoon candy machine opportunities. My snack options are what we have – which helps me not buy snacks, because I know I will eat it all.

3) House Errands:

I don’t like to clean, so don’t really do it much, but other errands get done so much easier now. Laundry, for example, is done routinely on Thursdays. I don’t have to fight people for the machines, no one is around to take my stuff out prematurely and I don’t have to waste an evening at home doing it. Laundry went from being a chore to being just a part of the day (and it provides built-in breaks for me to get away from the computer for a bit.

4) Miscellaneous Errands:

I remember the days of running out over lunch to get as much little stuff done as possible, or having to do it on the weekends when stores were packed. Getting to places like the bank, post office and grocery store is so much easier when you can get up and go at any time of the day. I have no one to check in with, or report to, or ask if I can leave early. The freedom is well worth it, but that leads to point #5.

5) Accountability:

Working from home is not for everyone. That was clear very early on. I have a dedicated office, a workspace and it was carefully designed to be comfortable and include all the things I would need to do my work. It’s much like a cubicle where I get up to get water, go to the bathroom, fix lunch, run an errand, etc., but otherwise I’m on my stability ball with music playing through my Iphone, incense and candles burning in the corner, photos on my desk, a window to glance out of when I have writer’s block and my yoga supplies when I need an impromptu restorative pose to revitalize myself. The problem, however, lies in staying focused. There is no one keeping tabs on my progress, no one giving me deadlines for the stuff I don’t want to do (I have plenty of editor deadlines, but that’s different) and no one to know if I decide to take a nap in the middle of the day. The best thing about working at home is also the most challenging. It’s all on me. My success is on me and my failures are a direct result of me. Some people can do it, some can’t – I really struggled at first, but I had to figure out what works for me, how to organize my time and how to stay productive. Some days are great, others not so great.

So what’s the point? On a small scale, some of you may relate to working from home, or having these challenges. On a larger scale, this applies to all parts of life. We think we know what we’re getting ourselves into, we might weigh all the pros and cons and consider every angle, but once a decision is made and we move forward, we realize we didn’t take into account the extra toilet paper.

What have you not considered today or recently?

How Art is an Expression of Mindfulness

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The other night, my husband and I met at a coffee shop. He rode his bike there after work to meet me. I was there doing work I didn’t get done during the day. He asked if I’d bring his sketchpad.

That sketchpad has been around and seen its fair share of coffee shops and park benches.

While I was thinking about a blog topic, he opened the sketch pad. I, without so much of a warning, blurted out, “Why do you like drawing?” He laughed – that was a big question. Slowly, the answer emerged and I took notes, because it has a great tie-in to the themes of this blog.

For many of us, education and cultural value gives priority to science and math. The sciences are seemingly more important, and if you are good at them, you often get pigeon-holed into that category. The artsy students hang out in the art studios, the rest of us are science, math and language whizzes. They were separate. There is no art in the sciences. There is no science in art. But they don’t have to be separate – imagine what innovation and creativity comes when they work together.

The reason my wonderfully talented, intelligent and compassionate husband likes art is more subtle and deep than just the joy of creating something beautiful. It’s more of a spiritual practice, although he wouldn’t necessarily call it that. He uses art, primarily drawing – and almost always black or gray – as a way to develop the skill of “seeing” things and getting past the conceptual brain. Rather than looking at a tree and saying, “Oh that’s an ash,” you can learn to see the shape and the lighting and the colors and the form and the patterns and how it fits into the larger context of life. For him, it’s being able to get closer to objective truth of seeing what is really there rather than just the label of what we think is there. An ash isn’t just an ash. An ash is a lively form that sways erratically, yet rhythmically in the wind, with various shades of green and patterns of light and dark. It has movement, it has a whole world going on under its bark and in its roots – all hidden from us and not usually considered. There are probably birds and insects and other varmints running around and we don’t often stop to think about or see them.

When drawing, you can’t really just draw the concept of a tree. Well, you can, but then it just looks like an elementary Christmas tree of trunk with a round top (this, for reference, is how I draw). But this doesn’t capture the essence of that tree. It’s a generic representation of something. Truly SEEING the tree opens up all sorts of new ideas and allows you to practice seeing other things in life. Nothing is what we think it is from a first glance. There is always so much more depth and context and interconnectedness to explore and discover. Learning to see something enough to draw it (he usually draws trees) helps you learn to apply this principle throughout life. Much like meditation allows us to practice discernment of thoughts and not getting caught up in them, drawing helps practice awareness and seeing.

The beauty of drawing is that it isn’t about the outcome. Few people see the drawings, and most of them sit silently in sketchbooks. It’s not about them. They are just tools. They help the drawer to get past the labels and to explore a different way of looking at the world. They provide the training to help uncover the subtle beauty of life. They help him express himself better. I think they, and he, are beautiful and capture the essence of each other.

Why We Need to Spend Time Outdoors

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I remember growing up in small-town central Minnesota. I remember sitting on the edge of the cement from my parents’ welding shop. I would make mudpies. I remember walking through the shop, and everywhere for that matter, with bare feet (this is where my husband says, “you don’t have bear feet, you have human feet”). Anyway, we were outside all the time and I think I am telling a story many are familiar with, especially if you grew up in rural areas.

Fast forward to nowadays, we actually have a term to describe children’s lack of access to nature. Richard Louv, in his book, Last Child of the Woods, discussed this phenomenon and coined the term “Nature Deficit Disorder.” I admit, it sounds a little silly, like a made-up disease or something, but if you look around, it doesn’t seem so strange, especially in urban areas. My patio overlooks a parking lot and large intersection. I work in my home office – some days I don’t leave the house (sad, I know). When I do leave, I’m often running errands, driving, parking, shopping – all manmade. Some days I feel like I have nature deficit disorder and I love nature. I did my master’s thesis on the effects of spending time in nature – it’s kind of a big deal to me. My husband is a tree guy, he works in plant/tree health care and loves insects. I like weeds and using plants for medicinal purposes. Between the two of us, there is a lot of talk about natural things, but it still often feels just out of reach. I dream of living quietly in the mountains, with a babbling brook running through, wildlife, peace and serenity.

Sometimes I wonder if I yearn for this quiet simplicity because I grew up that way, or because it’s something deeper. I wonder if people who grew up in urban areas have a similar sense, or if it’s too outside of their experience to even know if they want it. And then there are the kids, who are young and impressionable. Parents have the opportunity to teach about the environment, to send their kids outside to play, to teach them outdoor activities or to send them to camp. Research has shown (time and time again) that spending time in unstructured play outdoors leads to less depression, increased creativity, better problem solving skills, better behaviors in school, etc.

Time for a shameless plug…I am working with an organization called Sajai Foundation, based in Minnesota. Sajai’s mission is to teach kids about healthy living (fighting obesity), exercise and connecting with nature (fighting nature deficit disorder). They have an event on September 29, 2012, at North Mississippi Regional Park. It’s called the Amazing Walk and rather than being a race, it’s a family-friendly event with challenge stations to teach kids about exercise and nature. Find out more here!